Monday, December 8, 2014

If I have a daughter (inspired by wildergrace.wordpress)....

Dear daughter,

I am nineteen, sitting in Inman Perk (one of my favorite spots), drinking a dirty chai tea, finishing up some statistics studying, and thinking of you. I have some advice that I want to tell you while I remember what it's like to be "young" and technically a teenager for one more month. I've learned so much this past year...or maybe I could say that I've experienced so much this year. I'm not sure how much I've learned yet...I leave for Italy soon and am hoping some reflection/listening to Jesus time will bring about wisdom.
For now, this is what I've got:

1. as boys begin to pursue...
-be honest.
-be vulnerable.
-be open.
-be kind.
-remember that (as tough as they seem) boys are more scared and often more sensitive than girls. When they fall, they fall hard. Be careful with their hearts.
-don't compromise your values, or sacrifice the little quirks that make you unique (if he tempts you to, then he definitely isn't the right one)
-Don't make excuses for a boy not pursuing you like a man. His job is to pursue. Don't give him the opportunity to do less. (I would not suggest texting or calling him first)
-choose a man, not a boy. Your dad should teach you the difference.
-Don't dwell on why a guy is or is not pursuing you...take things as they come and for what they are. You are not in control. Do not manipulate. Trust Jesus.
-Lastly, know who you are. This is perhaps my most important point. A man (the best man in the world) can not be your worth. He cannot show you your value. He cannot speak in those quiet moments to your heart. He cannot promise to always be present.
-oh, one last fun fact, men are clueless. Completely and utterly clueless. Shockingly enough, they also cannot read minds. Be honest. Be vulnerable. Be open.

2. as life happens...
-cursing isn't classy, neither is kissing boys in bars (unless you're in Ireland for for your bachelorette party)
-Avoid boy bands and new's a slippery slope towards having bad taste in music (stick with James Taylor, the Dixie Chicks, George Strait, and select Tim McGraw songs {alternative bands, and folk music are fun} )
-love your family. Friends and guy friends feel like they'll be there for forever. Maybe they will, maybe they won't. Most of them won't. Family is forever.
-you have one body, take care of it. Eat right and work out. I went through a phase of hating my legs, because they are so muscular- I ceased all physical exercise. Stupid. If you have legs like me, enjoy them. Beat boys in foot races, and, when you're older, rock the heels.

3. As you seek after Jesus you will screw up. Know it. Accept it. You are not supposed to be the example. Jesus is the example. People will see where you turn when you fail.

That's all I've got. It's a lot. It's everything I wish I was doing better. The list could/will continue.


stephanye said...

Beautiful words!

Anna said...

Thank you Mrs. Stephanye. I miss Shannon so much! And she has a wonderful family in you all.